Craving Passion Can Be Painful

SO love bugs... it's been some time, even years, since I've written on here (SHOUT OUT TO THOSE LOYAL READERS WHO FOLLOWED ME ONTO TUMBLR) and a few things have changed.. Still coping with daddy issues, and trying to heal my co dependent nature with a warm body in my bed- nowadays I just tend to be a little more picky. No, i am no longer in a relationship (THANK GOD), and have been single for some time. And I only have one of my same fuck buddies (but our relationship has evolved into actual friendship and love). So. Where do I start to catch you all up? I've developed a genuine love for DDlg, which stands for Daddy Dom/Little Girl. Before the politically correct Jesusers come out, no, it has nothing to with pedophilia... To me, it is just gentler BDSM, which I've learned, when taken too far, can trigger some deep rooted issues that I'm not mentally prepared to deal with. I enjoy DDlg because it allows me to really absorbed myself in my daddy issues, and, in turn, deal with them in a rather healthy manner. My last boyfriend did not understand this, nor did he respect (or appreciate) my weird kinks. Luckily, and new interest of mine does, and came by it naturally, without having to do any explaining. But, we will see how that goes (Yes, there is a sexcapade behind that one, that will be my next post, i promise, love bugs). Aside from my new kink, I am also, now, a mother. While I debated not included that in my blog, I've decided it is important for my readers to know, as my beautiful daughter has changed my entire world, for the better. Her father is the last boyfriend I wrote about, who I was with for years. I will not go into the details of our current "relationship", let's just leave it at "hostile", though I will say I will always have so much love for him, for giving me a beautiful little girl. NOW, how did this change my sexual life? FOR THE BETTER! Firstly, on a shallow tip, my nipples are now 20x more sensitive. After giving birth and breast feeding, I can almost come from the right person just biting my nipples. Secondly, I crave passion more so than just sex. Possibly because my self esteem went up tenfold after her. Suffering with bipolar disorder, I am either EXTREMELY self confident and self sure, or completely insecure and broken. There is no in-between, most days. But having a child was the single most amazing thing I've ever done. No, the circumstance may not have been ideal, but, as an artist, she is my most beautiful, and prized piece of art. Besides the usual admiration of my child's offspring, it made me feel more feminine than ever before. Even now, two years after giving birth, I feel like I still have a glow. She gave me confidence I never knew I had. For that, I'm thankful. My child also made me determined to never settle. That applies for all things, including sex. At this point, I crave more than just to cum, but passion. I crave someone who I can get totally lost within... someone to please, who sets my very being on fire....

So Continues The Sexcapades ;)

Fair warning- I'm back y'all!

Some Daily Filth

For your viewing pleasure... check out Your Classy Slut, a Tumblr blog that is less... hardcore than most of my usual ones, but still one of my favorites.

Enjoy!

The Metaphysical Ball Is Moving... Slowly

Hello all!
I know that I have promised quite a lot of things for this summer, and they are moving along... slowly. I am in the process of putting together a Dirty Sexcapades calendar, as promised, as well as events, etc. I am partnering with iCandi Treats, a lingerie and sex toys website, owned by a buddy of mine. Also, coming soon, look out for the return of me and Jack Nickels' He Said, She Said blog!

More Daily Filth

I stole this image from another one of my favorite Tumblr sex blogs: Damn, Baby.

It's a great site, and one worth checking out, do so here.

Trying to Get The Metaphoric Ball Rolling

Got a new job, and some new gigs, and everything seems to be getting a bit better. With that being said, I can focus on my blog, and whatnot. I am currently working on building up the site again. 

Be sure to check out the blog these next few weeks to see all that we've been working on!

Some Filth For Your Viewing Pleasure

I know, I know, I've gotten numerous complaints about not posting on here. I apologize, and promise to fill this blog with so much filth that the Devil himself would recoil from reading it.

Here is yet another of my favorite Tumblr blogs. Text Me Something Dirty is a great collection of sexy females, cumshots, and dirty GIFs... right up my alley!
Check them out here!

More Filth For Your Viewing Pleasures

Just another great blog called Pussies and Orgasms. Enjoy.

Daily Filth

I promised I'd be blessing all my readers with daily filth, and vulgar posts, so I will do so tonight. To start off the night, I'd like to acknowledge one of my favorite blogs Text Me Something Dirty. It is definitely a treat for all the closet nymphos like myself.

Daily Filth

I know haven't posted in quite some time. I will spend this week filling this blog with as much filthy, and vulgar material, and stories that I can! Also, you can contribute to our Daily Filth by submitting stories, photos, and videos here!

But, anyhow... today's Daily Filth is Fire on Sex, a Tumblr blog. Check out their photos, stories, and other dirty things here.

Enjoy [:

Mel

The Best Sexcapades... Ever

I love sex. I have some type of love for all of my past fuck buddies, even if it's just for being able to fill a carnal need. But I must say the best sex is when you can open your eyes with your partner on top of you, look into their eyes, and the the look they give you makes you cum alone. That is the best sex. You rarely get such passion with sex, well at least not with fuck buddies. That's the difference between fucking and making love.
Two days ago, my boyfriend and I were both pretty sick. We had went away for the weekend, to visit his friends... which was an experience in and of itself as they are hardcore swingers. (I promise that will be a post soon) We went to grab late lunch at a Greek restaurant we always go to. The waiters know us, and even know what we're going to order. We sit in the same spot. It was where we had our second date. My boyfriend had been far more sick than myself, and knew I wanted him inside of me badly, but due to his illness, and lack of strength at the time, we postponed our romp.
As usual, I made not so subtle hints and jokes over the meal about how badly I wanted him. After the meal, we went to a health food and juice bar spot that he swears by. The older man that goes by the name Mr. Kim made us a strange concoction for our sore throats, and my boyfriend bought a miracle pill. At first I thought it was joke, but he really bought it. Now, let it be known that the last thing is a performance enhancement, so him taking this pill was funny to me. He's the only person that makes me cum four times from his tongue alone, and then twice when he's inside of me.
After leaving Mr. Kim's we went home to clean. I was doing dishes, and like always, had no pants on, just a pair of thongs and his sweatshirt. I hate pants, and never wear them when we're home (yes, we live together). He took the pill... and thirty minutes later he pulled my thongs down while I was doing dishes and stuck his fingers inside of me. Right when I was about to cum... he stopped, and walked into the bedroom. He called for me, as if I need encouragement, and I followed, jumping into bed on top of him. We kissed, tongues swirling around, wrestling, his hands raking my back as I pressed against him. I leaned forward, and took his hard, thick cock into my mouth. While I sucked his cock, he slid his fingers back inside, moaning when he felt how wet I was. While I swallowed his cock down my throat, he played with my clit, making me moan and grasp. Finally he pulled me by my hair (which I love) saying "I need to be inside of you." and flipped me over, opening my legs and sliding inside. Now, I didn't notice until he was inside... but his already thick cock seemed to stretch me even more than usual. Later, while reading about his little pill he took, I saw that it supposedly increased penis size. It definitely does.
I love making love to him because he's so passionate. His hands are all over my body, his lips sliding from my neck to my lips, and he fills me in ways no one else ever has. This was only round one out of four... and they were all amazing. I was so exhausted afterwards that I passed out for a good three hours... only to wake up, make love once more, then fall asleep in his arms.
I love being able to fall asleep with his arms around me, and waking up each morning to him still holding me. I love him so much.

I'm Back!

So, many of you may be wondering what happened to all of my sexcapades. I'm quite pleased to tell you that they have not stopped at all. In fact, they've only gotten better thanks to my boyfriend of four months. Now, this is not someone I've ever written about. in fact, he's had me so preoccupied I haven't had the chance.
He's about six foot (because I'm five foot six, and can't date "down"), Irish, and has enough muscle to make the Hulk a little jealous. Yes. He also has quite a few tattoos, which I love. It's just an all around good thing.
Now, I don't consider myself an easy girl to date. My daddy issues coupled with the fear to let my emotions show makes it nearly impossible for me to open up with 98.9% of people. My boyfriend is in that very small 1.09 percentile.
Our first date turned into a weekend of plain weirdness. He picked me up, we went for sushi, then picked his friend up and went bowling. After that, we ended up driving to the only liquor store on the East coast up that late, getting some Bacardi and trying to find some street races. We never did. It was okay though, we parked by the docks, and my now boyfriend and I drank the Bacardi, while chatting with his friend. I've never had so much doing... well nothing. After that, we went to diner, as the sun was nearly up. I had every intention of going home... but his blue eyes and pretty smile convinced me to just stay for a while. The three of us ended up at his house, watching movies. Finally, he took his friend home, and brought back bagels for the two of us. We watched scary movies, then proceeded to have amazing sex, leading to the best orgasm I've ever had. He eats the ABSOLUTE best pussy. Ever.
By that time, we both needed some sleep, so we fell asleep cuddling. Again, I had ever intention of going home... but this time I just didn't want to. We laid around for a while, another one of his friends stopped by, and we ordered pizza and chatted for a while. After he left, we watched another scary movie, then went out for dinner. After that, we decided I'd go back home the next morning, before his boxing session. So proceeded to do laundry, picking up his friend that I met the night before. He threw my clothes i nthe was, letting me wear his clothes in the meantime.
After dropping his friend off, we went home, and had more AMAZING sex. What I really loved (and still do) is the fact that he is as cuddle-y as myself. I'm not one to want to be held, and cuddled by everyone, I like my personal space, even with fuck buddies, but there's something so secure and stable that I feel when I'm in his arms. I love it.
The next morning, I did go home... but not before giving him morning head that he said "almost mad him fall over". ;]

Our Tumblr! Send us dirty photos!

Yes! More filth than you can handle here! [: Send us dirty photos! Send us your stories! Everything!

Daily Filth

Sexo Gif. A personal favorite.

Open Relationships

I love relationships, partially because it means sex pretty much whenever, but because there SHOULD be a connection between you and someone else that no one else has. To me, there are three parts to a relationship: sexual, personal, and emotional. No, I don't consider personal and emotional the same thing.
Personal are things that are between just you and your partner. I don't care if it's as simple as a nickname, a memory, or an inside joke, if your partner doesn't reveal a part of themselves to you that no one else sees, there's a problem. in an open relationship, you may fuck two other girls, and I may fuck two other guys, but you're the only person I go on dates with, and call you "Babe" or whatever I may call you.
Emotional is the most important part to me. I've been in amazing open relationships. I don't care if, when I'm not around (because of distance, or I'm just too lazy to drive to see you) you have a side chick that I know about (as long as she's clean, obviously). I don't need to know who she is, or anything, but if you fuck with her, it's fine, just tell me. As long as it goes both ways. For the most part, if I'm with someone, I'm with them. Even in open relationships, I'm least likely to be fucking anyone but you, the option should still be there, though, same as you. What's really important is the emotional part. I should be the one you confide in, the one to get goodmorning texts, and what not. What makes a relationship special is the fact that you share a part of yourself with your partner that no one else sees.
Now to the sexual... needless to say, sexual is VERY important to me. I like sex. I like morning sex, pre-lunch sex, post-lunch sex, mid afternoon sex, pre-dinner sex, post-dinner sex, late evening sex, bedtime sex, and spontaneous middle of the night sex. What makes it different in an open relationship, for me, is that you can fuck your CLEAN sides if you want, but I'm the one who sleeps in your bed, and vice versa. I don't sleep over at fuck buddies house's, nor do I invite them the sleep over at mine. I usually don't really kiss fuck buddies, either.
So, what was my best relationship? An open relationship two years ago. Because he moved so far away, we both had someone we fucked, but we weren't "seeing other people". That's polygamy. He was the only person I called every night, and only person I texted all day. He was the only person to see my nudes, and vice versa. I may have fuck another guy once or twice a month, but he was the only person I made love with. When I fucked someone else, it was always just that. There was very little conversation, and it was usually arranged in advance. I'd text him, ask him if he wanted to come over and "watch a movie" and that was that. Afterwards, I'd get dressed, say I needed to go out for a cigarette, and once outside, ask him where he parked. Done.
What was amazing was when my now ex-boyfriend came to visit. We'd normally get a nice hotel room in the city for a night, and it was amazing. We'd have dinner in the city, take some back to the hotel, and from 7pm, to 12pm the next day, we'd just be having amazing, passionate, rough sex. He was as much of a freak as me, so we went all out. Rope, wax, handcuffs... everything. It was amazing.
I miss that. I miss that a lot.

Daily Filth

Today's porn blog of day is Fuck Me, I'm Wet. This is one of my personal favorites, I'm sure you'll enjoy it too.

Excuse My Lack of Vulgar Posts

I've been going through a lot in my personal life that has prevented me from having much fun lately. For those of you who are unaware, I am am horrendously bipolar, and have recently been diagnosed with Graves disease. I'm still getting used to living with both, so I've been kind of out of it. When I was first diagnosed bipolar (yes, I'm really bipolar, not WebMD, self diagnosed) I wasn't sure how to handle it. I had horrible episodes when i was going through a low, and started cutting, and throwing up everything I ate. It's been years, and I'm still recovering. As of earlier this month, I've been having horrible episodes that even good sex can't cure, and fallen into old habits and mindsets.
So, to make up for my absence, here is a new favorite porn blog for your viewing please: Black Girl, White Guy. If you're on Tumblr, definitely follow for your daily porn fix. I, personally, love men. I don't care if they're white, black, orange, polka dotted, or cross eyes, as long as they're cute, caring, and, of course, have a good dick. So, I love this blog. Definitely check it out [:
http://blackgirlwhiteguy.tumblr.com/

Sexie Pics

I thought I'd add this for your viewing pleasure, since my last post was such a downer.

I'm a Tumblr addict. I breathe Tumblr. You have no idea. I especially love a certain blog which I follow, Sexie Pics. It's filled with lovely, hot photos that will make your toes curl whenever they pop onto your Dashboard.

You're welcome.

Immense Daddy Issues Kicking In

So, I just woke after getting home at 9am from the city. My feet hurt, my ankles hurts, my back hurt... The night went from fun, to eh'ish, to just ridiculous. It was the ultimate blow, I swear. Long story short, I somehow lost $20 while drunkenly talking to other drunks... meaning I probably was pick pocketed. We ended up missing bus after bus while trying to get back to a cheap motel, and by the time the bus was coming we were like "Fuck this shit. We're going home."
Now, this was with the full Italian (the lighter one, not the tan one... if it had been the tan Italian, I know it would have been worse because of his anger issues). What's funny is, despite having a good time drinking and smoking with him, my night was blown FAR before I found out I lost the money. My night was blow while sitting on the Piers, overlooking a beautiful skyline, and hearing him say "Out of all my bodies, you're definitely..." I barely heard the rest of the sentence, it blew mine that badly. I know the phrase "bodies" and I know it's used but sometimes I honestly wonder if he thinks before he speaks. Who the FUCK calls someone a "body" to their mother fucking face? I tried to tell myself to blame it on the alcohol, but that only makes it worse, because drinking really just takes away inhibitions, meaning that's what he's thinking, no matter what. After hear he said that shit, he noticed I was pretty much chugging my Jack Daniels and Coke and laughed. It all honesty it was because that term fucked with my head so badly that I need to drink to be able to function properly.
Like, I have a few fuck buddies, this everyone knows, but when you say it like that it just  sound fucking dirty. It kind of made me feel gross. Like, God... I have no idea why it's STILL bothering me so fucking much. What's funny is, the drunken couple we were talking to later the that night were fighting. Of course this kid was going all Mister Macho on the guy, until I was kind of like "Go the fuck away, both of you, and let me talk to him." One of my problems is that I'm probably one of the most caring people in the world. Despite my "I don't give a fuck" attitude I show, I really do. I know he was a drunken therapy bill... but fuck so am I. So sitting with him in midtown while his girlfriend and the Italian go smoke, and hearing him cry about not having anybody... it made me cry too. His girlfriend was kind of a nutcase, abusive, and wildly controlling, but, no matter how many times she punched him, slapped him, or pulled his mustache until there was blood, he still loved her. Talking to him, hearing him say how much she means to him, despite the pain, and hear him scream to her "Why do you wanna hurt me?" reminds me so much of one my ex's it's almost scary. I like to think I was over that ex' but I guess you never get of them, huh?
When I was far too young to know better, and too proud to ask for help, I dated someone far too old for me. I mean, don't I always date someone far too old for me? But this was not only illegal, but dangerous. He seemed amazing, and too good to be true... which he was. Once he had the naive, love sick teenager that I was completely and totally hooked, he became a nutcase. I mean I'm a bit off center, but he was bonkers. It was like he was trying to break me. I know he was, actually. But he never could completely, at least not in my eyes. I remember him telling me that I wasn't ever good enough, that my biological parents didn't want me (I'm adopted) and that no one else ever would, because I was a fuck up. I remember ALMOST believing him too... but I had an amazing friend who never would let me. We actually someone live together right now, and he's so protective of me because of that. I think the worse was when he came home (to his house, we were younger) to find me on his porch, a nice welt on my face, and more on my back to match it. Of course, he was furious. I was like his little sister. But what I remember was being curled up, with him screaming at me, and just sobbing. He was yelling at me "God, why are you so stupid? Why the fuck would you let him do this? Are you fucking serious?" and all I could think was "He's right. I am stupid. Stupid as fuck, because I still love him. Why the fuck does he want to hurt me? What's wrong with me..." It was the absolute lowest place I've ever been because I bought into my ex's bullshit. And, after a lot of counseling, I'd like to say that I've overcome that. But, obviously not because all I can hear in my head is my ex's voice saying "You're a stupid whore, that nobody but me will ever love. You'll never be enough for anyone, no one else would put up with you, not for long. You're parents didn't even want you."
And what pissed off most was the fact that at the end of the day, while riding the bus home, and thinking about his "bodies" comment it made me cry a little on the bus (but I don't like looking weak in public so I sucked it up). Now, I thought that it was maybe because I was still drunk. Obviously it wasn't, because 7 hours later, and mostly sober, I woke up, and it still bothers me. And it bothers me that, after that horrendous night, I still wanted to fuck. Like, God, I feel every bit of the useless, piece of shit my ex called me. Which, of course, makes me pissed at myself even further. I'm grown, that shouldn't still bother me, correct? Or at least I shouldn't let it show.
My mother always told me that there would be a point where it wasn't the sex you were worried about, the emotions the next day. So why do I feel like I'm getting those emotions... 5 hours late?

So Maybe...

After tonight, I doubt I'll actually talk to any of my regular fuck buddies again because I'm completely in awe of this Peruvian/Chinese kid. It's a been a very, very long time since someone that I was emotionally attracted also was okay with my nymphomaniac-like ways... but he is. In fact, he has made me want him more than I've wanted anyone in a very, very long time. 
I've actually known him for about 4 years now, and we have mutual friends, but what's funny is we never spoke. We're FaceBook friends, and he posted his Tumblr link on FaceBook, so I followed him. We started reblogging each other, and during one of my more whore'ish moods he noticed that all the photos I was reblogging were pornographic. We started casually flirting on Tumblr, then FaceBook, and I actually just hung up the phone with him. We had a really amazing conversation, and he made feel better than I have in months. So this could be a good thing.
Now to the sex. So, we haven't fucked. We have a "date" Monday, but in all honestly I wouldn't be upset if that turned into a sexcapade because we have plans to go to Coney Island next weekend.Because I haven't been feeling well, I told him we'd have to wait until Monday, and that was earlier this week... and every day since he has spent trying to convince me otherwise. It started with messages in my Ask box on Tumblr.. he sent me "You'd be against the wall, both your hands will be pinned with one of mine. I'd be ripping your clothes off, one by one. I'd be kissing, licking, and biting every inch of your body. I'd have my body pressed against your so you'd feel everything. My hand would be caressing your body, from your tits to your pussy. Once all your clothes are off and you've become wet. I'd toss you on the bed and start eating you out. Making your legs shake and quiver." on Tumblr. I swear to God I was pretty much ready to show up on his doorstep in a trench coat with nothing underneath. THEN the next day I get bombarded with tremendously sexy messages while in class. I mean the kind of messages that have you squirming in your seat, curling your toes, and praying no one notices who hard your breathing. Tonight we had phone sex, and I have to say, since the last time I heard his voice, it has definitely gotten sexier. Much sexier. And hearing him moan my name... well damn.
But was nice, though, was that we were on the phone for about 2 hours, and we actually talked. I don't open up to many people. I told him about my fucked up family, and the personal issues I've been having that I couldn't seem to talk to anyone about. He actually made me cry with all of the sweet things he was saying, I've been in such a rut that hearing someone compliment me, and it sounding sincere was just overwhelming. And then we did something I haven't been able to do since my ex.. fell asleep on the phone. So cute. I loved it.
God, I haven't been in a truly healthy, functional relationship for a while... God only knows how this'll end up.