So Maybe...

After tonight, I doubt I'll actually talk to any of my regular fuck buddies again because I'm completely in awe of this Peruvian/Chinese kid. It's a been a very, very long time since someone that I was emotionally attracted also was okay with my nymphomaniac-like ways... but he is. In fact, he has made me want him more than I've wanted anyone in a very, very long time. 
I've actually known him for about 4 years now, and we have mutual friends, but what's funny is we never spoke. We're FaceBook friends, and he posted his Tumblr link on FaceBook, so I followed him. We started reblogging each other, and during one of my more whore'ish moods he noticed that all the photos I was reblogging were pornographic. We started casually flirting on Tumblr, then FaceBook, and I actually just hung up the phone with him. We had a really amazing conversation, and he made feel better than I have in months. So this could be a good thing.
Now to the sex. So, we haven't fucked. We have a "date" Monday, but in all honestly I wouldn't be upset if that turned into a sexcapade because we have plans to go to Coney Island next weekend.Because I haven't been feeling well, I told him we'd have to wait until Monday, and that was earlier this week... and every day since he has spent trying to convince me otherwise. It started with messages in my Ask box on Tumblr.. he sent me "You'd be against the wall, both your hands will be pinned with one of mine. I'd be ripping your clothes off, one by one. I'd be kissing, licking, and biting every inch of your body. I'd have my body pressed against your so you'd feel everything. My hand would be caressing your body, from your tits to your pussy. Once all your clothes are off and you've become wet. I'd toss you on the bed and start eating you out. Making your legs shake and quiver." on Tumblr. I swear to God I was pretty much ready to show up on his doorstep in a trench coat with nothing underneath. THEN the next day I get bombarded with tremendously sexy messages while in class. I mean the kind of messages that have you squirming in your seat, curling your toes, and praying no one notices who hard your breathing. Tonight we had phone sex, and I have to say, since the last time I heard his voice, it has definitely gotten sexier. Much sexier. And hearing him moan my name... well damn.
But was nice, though, was that we were on the phone for about 2 hours, and we actually talked. I don't open up to many people. I told him about my fucked up family, and the personal issues I've been having that I couldn't seem to talk to anyone about. He actually made me cry with all of the sweet things he was saying, I've been in such a rut that hearing someone compliment me, and it sounding sincere was just overwhelming. And then we did something I haven't been able to do since my ex.. fell asleep on the phone. So cute. I loved it.
God, I haven't been in a truly healthy, functional relationship for a while... God only knows how this'll end up.

Decisions...

I've become so overwhelmed with this dating thing that I've overbooked myself this weekend with two Italians... well one Italian, one half Italian (and half Puerto Rican). I know my Italian friend will go on at nauseum if I cancel, or change our plans to hang out. I guess I'll have to move my Italian/Puerto Rican to Friday. In truth, as much as I love hanging out with the full Italian (and yes, by hang out I mean have sex, but we also are somewhat friends) I can't seem to figure out why he wanted to chill so badly. Like I said, I adore him, but I can't help thinking he has an agenda. Which is fine, I guess, he's one of those people I can't complain about it. I know how he is. I guess I'll just be happy with that the fact that he doesn't refer to me as "that fat Puerto Rican bitch that thinks I love her, but really I just use her for rides" like this other girl... at least not to my face, but I can only hope he doesn't at all.
Now, the Italian/Puerto Rican is a different case. I actually like him. Not just his cock. (But that's not bad either). He's a sweetie, and we hang out more than we fuck. His brother and I are close, and we met one day while I was chilling with his brother. We hit it off. I've been having some personal life issues, and haven't been around as much. He's such a cutie, he calls my phone and says "[Mel]!! Baby, I miss your face. Let's hang out this Saturday! We can get food, smoke, go to a party, whatever you want. I know the last time we spoke you weren't doing well, we'll just have a good time." That really touched me. Yeah, I can somewhat talk to my Italian fuck buddy, but only to a degree. This kid, the half Italian, is genuinely my friend. I don't even call him my fuck buddy because we're not like that at all. I really just adore him. I don't have many friends, and it's nice to know he considers me one.
Anyhow, I found the perfect outfit. It's something my friends and I like to call "Whore-Couture". Not "slutty" but definitely showing more skin than I would for a regular friend. That's for my Italian/Puerto Rican, because he's worth it, and I know he genuinely wants to see me more than just my cleavage (but he'll be able to see that too). I'm not sure what I'll wear Saturday. I'll figure it out.

I Feel Like I start My Relationships Backwards

Any normal, healthy person would say I do. Sex first, then a relationship. But, for me, it's more practical. My mother taught me that abstinence wasn't healthy because you didn't want to get married and then all of the sudden find your husband is a freak. You wouldn't know what to do! But to me, sex is a big part of my relationship. It's not everything, but I would say it was about 40% of it. It may sound shallow, but I've ended relationships where the sex was beyond repair. You know those kind, where it just doesn't work, and the entire time you're thinking "God, I really need a cigarette.".
Lately, I've been going on a lot of legitimate dates. I haven't dated (like actually dated) in a while, so it's a bit out of my element. It sounds weird, yes, but going to someone's house with the sole intention to fuck is different then going out to dinner, and movie. I somewhat feel like my fuckbuddies know me better then the people I go on dates with. My 13 year old boy humor, and "That's What She Said!" jokes are acceptable to them... I mean, if I've sucked your cock, you better be okay with my corny sex jokes! I even shared my blog with one of my bedbuddies (the Italian) who, being his cocky but lovable self, loved reading about himself in bed. One of my bed buddies asked me out on a date. An actual date. I know, according to society's rightist doctrine of beliefs, I should be thrilled. In all honesty, I'm nervous as fuck! I mean, it's easy to show, get high, have amazing, earth shattering sex, and then lay in bed and talk. But how does that change outside of the bedroom?
I have until this weekend to ponder over this before the date. I may even upload a photo of what I'm wearing, when I decide. God, I feel like a 15 year old girl on her first real date, all over again. Only this time, I hope I won't end up getting sick on the date. But my date was nice about it then, he was 17, held my hair while I puked, then we sat in his car, blasting music, and smoking. He even called me again! I miss those times, when everything was so simple.

Going On a Date Has Become A Foreign Endeavor

Even just going out without the promise that there will be a lot of sex afterwards is weird. Something about this logic seems flawed, but oh well, it's me. So, my old neighbor from when I was young add me on FaceBook. The last time I remember seeing him I was like 15 or 16 years old, and he was higher than a motherfucker. After adding him, I see that he is now clean, and sober, and trying to better his life. Makes me happy, I always love when others do well. He hit me up a day or so after I added him, asking about life, and my family, and finally drops a number and says too give him a call if I wanted to chill or anything. Obviously I did. He was always nice, and a very sweet guy.
Funny shit on how he found me on FaceBook though. One of my Italian fuck buddies was bitching about me not hitting him up when I was "told to" and misspelled patience. My old neighbor (he is German, to my knowledge, with the most adorable, big blue eyes) corrected his spelling in a comment. I was annoyed that he was bitching about ME in his status, seeing the amount of times he has blown me off, that I didn't even bother to see who insulted him, just liked the comment in spite of him.
Now, what I honestly don't understand about guys, is how the fuck their logic works. I mean, if you have an answer for me, please, drop it in a comment. Someone explain to me why it's okay for you to make "Ohh, I'd fuck her" comments about my friends to me, but when I even MENTION a friend of yours, whom you haven't seen for years, it becomes an issue? Why is THAT when you choose to be possessive? Because seeing that hypocritical, double standard is the most unattractive thing in the world to me.
So, me and my old neighbor when to the movies tonight. First we got Chinese food, talked about life, and whatnot, then walked over to the theater. We saw This Means War, my choice, mostly because I enjoy making guys sit through chick flicks. It was good, actually, and he didn't mind it too much. He's actually a lot smarted than I would have imagined, probably because I don't remember him ever being sober. He wants to go back to school, and be a drug counselor, which I think is lovely. All in all a good day. He walked with me home, as the theater is right down the street.
Now I just dread the "You went out with WHO?!" texts I'm about to get from some of my fuck buddies. If we just fucked, I would have gotten shit, but the fact that we went out out will drive them all insane. It's like when I decide to stop being a shallow bitch, and maybe grow up a little bit, everyone decides they actually want to do something with their lives and have a real relationship. Sigh. It's all so stupid, haha.

It's Kind Of Nice To Be Asked For Once

So, while talking to someone I have yet to sleep with, but do plan to this summer (distance SUCKS) he threw me off. He asked me if I would be okay just having sex with him. Now, in an ideal world, every guy would ask if there were any possible emotional attachments, and if it wasn't mutual, it would stated honestly. Of course this isn't an ideal world. So having someone actually ask was kind of nice. Like, I'm so use to not being considered, that I kind of expect, and accept it, I suppose. I can't really blame them entirely, not like I put u an argument (DADDY ISSUES, FOR THE WIN!), but still.
Anyhow, I just thought it was the sweetest damn thing. It made me cry afterwards, because I haven't had someone say something to me that made me like they gave the slightest fuck about me in that long. Then it made me cry that something that pathetic, shallow, and, really, insignificant made me cry. Basically it was one big tearfest.I'm actually still crying. So I'm going to go, smoke a blunt, and go for a walk.

FUCK YEAH KNICKS!

Okay, okay, okay. I know what you're saying, "This is a SEX blog. Why basketball?". Well, I'm sorry, but I'm going to show my DIRTY JERSEY PRIDE right now. If Lin can get this 7th win I will go through my phone offering every Jersey born and bred guy a blow job. True story.

My Entire Existence is a Big Fuck You To Valentines Day

I hate Valentine Day. I especially hate when fuck buddies get my Valentines Day gifts. It totally ruins the beauty of Valentines Day. Save chocolates, teddy bears, and flowers for someone you really have feelings for, not someone you're just fucking with, because I'm sure as hell not buying you anything. I don't have Valentines Day sex if I'm not in a relationship. It's my little tribute to it. But I have to say, my blonde post rehab buddy and I have fun plans for tomorrow. They consist of sitting at home, watching movies, cooking dinner together, getting high, watching more movies, and just generally having a good time. He also bought me a chocolate cake. A HUGE chocolate I'll never finish. I gave half to my mom. This is beginning to look like a relationship, which scares, and excites me at the same time.

Happy Valentines Day! IM DRUNK BITCHES!

So, this day has been fun.

My buddy who just got home from rehab got his own apartment. Obviously we had to break in and christen the bed... bathtub, living room, kitchen, and even the closet. It's bad luck to leave a space unblessed. I went over in the morning, and, being as he's one of my best friends, I even offered to bring breakfast. He was surprised to see that by "bringing breakfast" i meant three grocery bags of produce and bacon! I barely put the bags down before we were on the couch. Well, we landed on the couch, but end up rolling onto the floor, successfully bruising my head in the process. I didn't mind. Rolling around, kissing, was worth it. He set a record, sliding my dress down and undoing my bra, one had each, at the same time! I was seriously impressed. I was more impressed when he wasted no time pinning me down and sliding inside of me. I love being dominated, as anyone who reads my blog, or knows me would tell you, and he definitely remembered. With one had he held my hands down, and the other on my shoulder, thumb pressed into my collar bone, just enough pressure to remind me that I was underneath him, in a vulnerable position. He kissed me, nipped me, and grabbed my bottom lip in between his teeth... and pulled it while we both came. It was great. We looked at the couch, the down at our tangle of limbs, laughing and deeming it far too much effort to get up there, so we just yanked the blanket off and cuddled on the floor. after about 15 minutes, I pulled hair into a pony tail, grabbed his discarded Polo, and announced that I was gunna start breakfast.
NOW, I love science fiction and romance novels... especially by Kelley Armstrong. I often think that it's not normal how badly I want to marry two of her fictional characters... Clayton Danvers and Karl Marsten. One of my favorite books by Armstrong is No Humans Allowed, I remember a very vivid scene. If I didn't know better would have thought that my blonde lover read it and knew how much I loved the scene. It was like a total reenactment.
After slipping into his Polo, I bounced into his kitchen, emptying the bags. I turned on the stereo, putting in my iPod, and turning to Say Anything, a band that we both love. I was bellowing out the lyrics to "Shiska", one of my favorite songs, and so engrossed simmering the maple syrup and berries (berry maple syrup is DELICIOUS) that I didn't realize he was stand behind me. He put his hand my wrist and stood close behind me. I didn't turn, in fear that I'd get distracted and the syrup would burn, so he bent so his mouth was on my ear and said "Why the fuck are there berries in my syrup". Of course i started laughing, making me press further against him... only to realize he was STILL naked and pretty much ready to have another round. It too real willpower not to guide his cock into my me, as I didn't bother to slip on my panties before starting breakfast. When he was sure I was good, and horny he stepped back, sitting on the counter and just staring.
I forced myself to start the bacon. I cooked my vegan bacon first, so it would touch meat, then cooked his bacon. It shows how much I care about him that I was willing to cook meat for him. Another one of our favorite came on, Skinny Mean Man (by Say Anything) and I couldn't help but jam out a little bit while cooking. When he started kissing my neck I could help but twist so i could bite his lips.. which encouraged him to take advantage of my slightly spread thighs, slipping a finger over my clit again and again until I was biting down on his lip hard, and moaning into his mouth. The burning spray of oil on my arm brought me back to reality and I flipped the bacon just in time. His hand was now sprawled out, warm on my thigh, thumb teasing but not entering. When I sighed, raising onto my tippy toes, he decided to plunge his fingers inside of me, hitting my G-spot (no, it's not a myth.. just need someone with that magic touch) and biting my neck hard. When I was moaning and squirming over his hand he decided it was time to withdraw, sit on the counter, and grin.Cocky bastard.
A cold glass of water later, I was making hash browns. I was going all out for breakfast, meaning HOMEMADE hashbrowns, fluffy buttermilk pancakes (from scratch, fuck a mix!), french toast, eggs, bacon, and fruit. Once he saw the extravagant breakfast I was putting together, he let me finish mostly in peace. He wandered about his apartment, coming back into the kitchen to kiss my neck and cheeks, slap my ass, and generally start trouble. When I announced that breakfast was ready, he all but ran to the kitchen, scrambling for plates and utensils. Obviously this was someone who was still high, and recovering from the dreaded food of rehab. I fixed the plates, his mouth watering the whole time, and we dug in. I love being with friends because it means that I can let the munchies over take me. With most guys, I'd at least try to be ladylike and eat civilly, but this is someone who has known me since I was about 5 years old. He was probably the first to get the 3rd base with me, the first person I made out with, and the only person I called in the middle of the night crying who picked me up, brought me drugs, then fucked me until I totally forgot about the douche who cheated on me. That's a best friend. So scarfing down some pancakes, veggie bacon, french toast, and fruit was no big deal.
We didn't talk for the first five minutes of eating. I had to drive a long distance before I got there, and hadn't eaten. He's a male, and always hungry. Plus we were both stoned. Finally I looked up to see him shoving bacon into one side of his mouth, and pancakes (with his hand) in the other, alternating. I giggled, and he caught my eye... we both started cracking up. It reminded me of the time that we smoked some Sour Diseal in Union Square Park, then some Salvia. I was literally on the ground cracking up, and we ended up going to Cosi's... taking a good 10 minutes to order, and ended up ordering everything we said "Wait, nevermind..." to. What I love about Union Square is that everyone is high. The old crack head who screams "What's up, baby? Need a loosie? I gotchu, boo!" to me every time I'm there, to my favorite gay teen named Precious, who I do "Free Hugs" with whenever it's warm. It's the perfect place to roll up, and smoke a quick one and then just chill on the grass with someone you can just lay with.
After eating we decided to watch TV in his bed. Him in just boxers, and me in just his Polo... we both knew we weren't going to do much watching. I crawled between hi legs after a few minutes of cuddling, taking his cock into my mouth and going down on him until he flipped me on my back. so my head was hanging off the bed, and dove between my legs. I missed his tongue... a lot. I orgasm from sex, but I have the best orgasms from being eaten out, and fingered. I just find it hot that someone else has such control over my body.
His tongue.. honestly I wish I could tell you what it was he does that makes it so amazing, but I can't. His tongue slipped over my clit a few times, making me squirm, then slipped inside of me. After a minute of this, he slide his fingers inside of me, and began sucking on my clit. It was.. well damn. When I was about to cum he stopped, going back to gentle licks, avoiding my clit completely. Finally I couldn't take it, thrusting my hips up, and he sat back completely. "What do you want, baby?" Evidently my moans, groans, and primal grunts weren't enough for him apparently because he just looked at me and asked again "What do you want?". When he grinned I knew he was enjoying himself FAR too much, but decided to oblige. Before you I could finish moaning "You, Sam, YOU." he was deep, deep, DEEP inside of me. Holy mother of God. He, again, pinned me down, and I bit into his shoulder. I broke skin, but he didn't mind, never did before. Just took the hint, an fucked me even harder. I came. He kept fucking me. I was screaming, he was pulling my hair nipping and licking my face, and slowly thrusting inside. Finally he came.
He collapsed on top of me. Not just dropped, but collapsed. I couldn't tell who was breathing harder, him or myself. I actually couldn't breathe well with him on top of me, and as much as I didn't want the warmth of his sweaty body to leave mine, when my abs started to hurt, I told him. He laughed and rolled over onto his back. We laid like that for a long time, listening to each others' ragged breathing. Finally he rolled over and slung his arm over my waist. I turned to faced him, and we cuddled for a minute. He fell asleep. I got up to go to the bathroom. When i got back he was still fast asleep, curled up in the blanket, and looked too adorable for like. I gently got back into bed, kissing his neck, cheek, and mouth then leaning back to watch TV. When he grabbed me around the waist and started kissing me his eyes were still closed, and he was half asleep. It was great.
Eventually he woke up fully, grabbed my hand, and suggested we take a shower. I love shower sex. So so so so much. We got into the shower, turning it on extra hot ,and lathered each other up. Normally I'd have complained about the manish smelling soap but when he turned me around, and started massaging my neck and shoulders I decided to let it slide. I leaned back against him, letting him massaging and caress my sore muscles. Finally I turned, kneeling before him and lick his long, hard cock. Normally shower head doesn't work because the water messes up my contacts, but he was in luck... I had my glasses on today! So I went down on him, licking, sucking, and teasing because I know he loves it. When he came I swallowed it all, and then he pulled me up by my arms, holding me against the wall, and slowly rubbing my clit, before shoving two fingers inside, and rubbing his thumb over my clit. When he started biting and kissing my neck I came hard and leaned against him, panting. We stayed under the shower spray without moving for a good five minutes, then started lathering each other up again, kissing and nipping as we did so. We shared the spray then got out, him drying me, and then me drying him.
The afternoon was a long, wonderful one. We kissed, fucked, then slept. Then we repeated over and over again. I'm quite sore, but it's a lovely, BEST SEX EVER kind of sore.

Some Men Are Amusements, Others You Date, and Marry

My mom taught me that.I always knew it was true, but today i realize how true.
I adore most of my bed buddies. I feel like to have good sex, you have to like each other some extent. One of them, though, I tried so hard to date. What makes me angry is that he still tries to get serious with me.. but I just can't. He's Dominican and Black, which I love, and he's a total and complete gentlemen... but he's terribly stupid. Now, I don't expect you to have written a 20 page published research paper on the basis of Christianity (I mean, I did, but I'm just awesome like that), but you have to have some basic common sense.. which he lacks. We met in New York, his cousin is my friend, and dealer. The one thing I hate about banging around midtown Manhattan is that everyone who does drugs knows each other. It's very discouraging.
Yet again, I digress. My friend (who is tall, Puerto Rican and oh so cute) came up to me when I was walking down 42nd street one day. He had a gorgeous, but quiet guy with him. When I say gorgeous, I mean GORGEOUS. With my friend's permission, I got to know who I now know is his cousin. He's a model and actor. Not a "starving artist" type, but an actual model. He did an Abrocrombie add! Over the course of the past summer we got to know each other better. He introduced me to his father, and all of his family. We went to the newest, mot expensive restaurants and bars. He paid for everything. We'd smoke, then sit in Union Square Park, listening to music, and dancing to the slow, romantic live jazz that played. The whole time I tried SO HARD to like him. I tried harder than I ever thought was possible. But in truth, he was just too stupid. He's the kind of guy I like to go out to big events with, because he's so cute that people are impressed, but if I brought him to a large family gathering, everyone would snicker, and ask me quietly "Why are you with him? He's cute, but not bright."
Everyone knows I don't care much about money. I mean, having it's nice, but it isn't about that with this guy.Sure, I loved that he takes me uptown, to the hot new restaurant that I read about in Vanity Fair, but what I really cared about is that he's doing it to please me. Have you ever seen Cheaper By the Dozen? You know the Austin Kutcher model character? Other than those AMAZING good looks, he's nothing like that. He wants to get to know my family, and anything that makes me happy. When I got my big light designing gig he came to EVERY show, despite the fact that tickets were $50 dollars, and it was Shakespeare.
But great kissing, lot of money, and getting to sit in on model shoots aside, he's not very bright. I didn't get my Eclectic religious beliefs, or that my mom was Buddhist. He didn't understand my fascination with anthropology, or how anthropology and theatre interact. He didn't understand why I cried on Shakespeare's birthday, or why my friends and I were all dressed up for it. He didn't get the"psychology" about a rave, just wanted to pop E, snort Coke and go (which I have no problem with, but come one man!).
All in all, we didn't share a single interest. Still don't. So even thought I want to accept his offer on being my Valentines, and taking me out for a "night in the city" that I'm sure will be filled with lavish, and posh things... I can't. I do often wonder though, if this is what he treats me when he's trying to court me, if I did go all the way, and fuck him, would I get a new car? Haha, not even worth it though.

I'm an optimist. My glass is always half full... of vodka.

So, is it shallow of me to openly admit that I'm only interested in attractive men with large penises and are local? Probably. But I've that, at 19 years old, if you think you've found the one you're going to grow old with... you're wrong. I've been in love with the same person since I was young, but because of my own stupidity he hates me now. I cried, bitched, and watched sad movies for weeks (okay, so I  still do occasionally) but then I realized... I don't want to be with him right now. I mean, of course, I DO but by the same token, only 2% of relationships at our age end up in marriage, so I'd rather get all of my practice in with people I don't care about as much, and that way, one day, if is meant to be, it will. In all honestly, I love him far too much to hold him back from anything, and, seeings as we became long distance because of an unfortunate series of events, I wouldn't ask him to do anything I wouldn't do. He's too good for me anyhow. Bleh.
ANYHOW, I digress. According to my mother, it's shallow. In my opinion, it's thoughtful. To each their own, I suppose.

I love Italian Penis. Point Blank.

I am currently relaxing at home with some Chobani Greek Yogurt. I just got home from my favorite Italian lover's house. I went over after doing some work, picking up a BLT sandwich for him. He left his front unlocked for, and, as usual, I let myself into his bedroom, absently dropping my coat and books on his chair, and climbing into his bed. He walked through the door in just his boxers, and complained (jokingly) about me slamming doors then climbed onto "his side" of the bed. He's extremely picky and has to be on the right side. We smoked a cigarette, talking the whole time while watching That 70s Show. One this I like about spending time with him is that we can just chill. Sure, his penis an amazing gift from the gods, but I actually enjoy spending time with him. We sparked a a blunt, laying back, watching TV and talking for about 45 minutes. He mentioned that he had Harold and Kumar 3 but didn't know how to hook up his DVD player.I offered to do it. He laughed and asked if I minded and actually knew how. So I hopped out of his bed on a hunt for an Ant. cord.
I found it in his front room, and got to work, grabbing a flashlight so I didn't need to turn on the lights. I leaned over, trying to reach an cord, but of course bending a little more than necessary, in my pink panties and sweat shirt. The flashlight I grabbed died and I had to go by the bed to grab another. As I bent to grab it he slapped my ass, commenting that he "just had to touch for a sec" and then pulled the back of my panties to make me sit, pulling me back against him. He kissed me, then dragged his lips to my neck, kissing, sucking, and nipping me as he dragged his hands all over my body. He supported me with his left arm, while playing with my nipples with the other. Finally he licked his way to my right nipple. Maybe it's because I was high, but it was amazing. I don't really have a great deal of sensation in my nipples usually, but his lips wrapped around them tonight had me moaning and squirming in his arms... which of course inspired him to tease me further.
Finally, he pulled me further onto the bed and pulled off his boxers, which I took as my invitation to suck his cock.Now, I love sucking this particular Italian's cock. It's just the perfect size that I can fit it all in my mouth, and he can fuck my throat.I went down on him for a good half an hour, slowing down and sucking and teasing his balls whenever I sensed he was ready to cum in my mouth. There are very few people who I fuck raw (we've both been tested together), so I wanted him to bust inside of me. With that, he laid on his back, telling me "Reverse cowgirl" was what he wanted. With that, I straddled him, facing away from him, and began riding him. It was good, I came, and he was about to... until he said "Oh my god... you're bleeding."

I haven't had a period in a good four years thanks to birth control, and the one day I was high as hell, and horny as fuck, mother nature decides to give me my "monthly gift". It sucks. What was funny though, was that he seemed more confused and scared then grossed out. He got all wide eyed and said "What did I do?!" and I couldn't help by laugh and say nothing. He then said "What should I do? Can I finish? Should I finish?" and I was still cracking up, and said, of course, yes. So he flipped me onto all fours, and fucked me from behind, like I like it, with a towel under us.
When we finished he goes, "So.. can we have sex again?" and I was like "Well, I mean I'm having break through bleeding, so yeah, it's not serious, but you may wanna wear a condom." With that, I went to his bathroom to clean up, and then came back into his room, put my panties on, and went back to setting up his DVD player so I could see Harold and Kumar. I don't know why I bothered, I never get to see movies with him, we always end fucking a lot, and missing parts. I complained about how cold it was at one point, and we cuddle for a while, until he decided it was time to more efficiently warm me up. With that, he bent to suck and nibble on my nipples, and while he did so I kissed and sucked his neck and ear, as I know he likes it. Finally we bother said "fuck it", tossed down a towel, and he bent me over the edge of the bed before ramming me from the back. It felt amazing, and, as always, I couldn't help but moan... growing into a loud pleasure-filled cry. By the time we both came, there was on the towel.. alot of blood. I went to soak it in cold water... only to see it soaked through to the sheets. I feel horrible, but he didn't seem to mind, just tossing off the sheets, and telling me to get back into bed for a cigarette.
With that, we chilled some more, watching TV and cuddling before I had to get going, and he had to work. All in all, I'm very satsified, though I wish we could have had our normal, 5 hour sexcapade, this'll do for a few days until I can really fuck him. We're supposed to chill this weekend, so I'm planning to run out and him a bed spread and sheet and surprise im with it even though he insisted I didn't have to.

I Want Dick Badly Tongiht

I'm not sure what's up with me. I'm at a friend's house at the moment, high out of my mind, and all I can think about is tomorrow afternoon when I get to fuck one of my Italian fuck buddies senseless. It's not like I've been without sex for a while. I just have had a horrible week, and all I can think of right now is my Italian lover's dick.
Yesterday i have a strange experience. I have an old friend I haven't seen in forever. Before he was carted off to rehab we made a habit of having regular sex whenever time permitted.I suppose you could say that he was my first bed buddy, we've been hooking up since we were kids. While walking to get a pack of cigarettes (nasty habit, I know) I saw a blond, bobbing head, and an unmistakably awkward walk. I knew it was him. Without thinking I say ran up behind him, covering his eyes, and jumping on his back. "WHAT THE FU- [DIRTY]?!" he shouted, and tackled me (painfully) to the ground. Because we are more than just fuck buddies we fool around and rough house all of the time. He's my friend. Our families are close, and while my mother went through he Episcopalian phase, we went to church with them. We have had adventures together, from getting high and lost in the city with no money, to having to walk 4miles in winter home because we were too high to care. He's always been my partner in crime, one who kisses very VERY well.
Once on the ground, and pinned me down and kissed, and I remembered why I missed him. Because he was goofy, and sweet, and just a sweet guy. The kiss wasn't the bruisingly rough kisses I'll get from my Italian tomorrow. It was tentative, as though not sure if he still had permission to kiss me after not seeing each other for so long. Sensing this, I put my hand through his blond, curly hair, and bit his bottom lip. We forgot we were on the ground, in front of people, and just started cracking up, still a tangle of limbs.
I asked him what he was up to and he said just "seeing the old neighborhood". I mentioned that I had done some painting and we could get pizza, and chill at my house once he was down "seeing the old neighborhood", because obviously who doesn't want to stare at freshly painted white walls?
So with that, we got a dutch, my cigarettes, and some pizza and headed home. Like the true and good friend that I am, one day out of rehab, and I had him higher than a motherfucker. We smoked, and talked. Talked more that I thought we would. I really missed him. He was annoying, and a little bit weird, but he's one of the few friends, real friends, that I have.
While sitting on the couch, now totally stoned, I began to complain to him about my ex's and my love life in general. He shoot gunned his drag to me as he kissed me. Hooking up while high is always good too me, so the fact that I really and truly and care about him sent my head spinning. We kissed, discarding clothing as we did so, and he wasted no time reaching into my drawer, where he knows I keep condoms, slipping it on, and then slipping into me. It was amazing. I missed him so much. We went for about 3 rounds, then fell asleep, curled up around on another, the way only lovers who are familiar with on another can.

To Me, You're Only As Good As Your Last Shag

I try very hard to keep my sex life out of my social life. Those who know me well know what I'm up to when I bail on plans to hang out with a "friend" I haven't seen in a while, but that's very few. Because of this, I don't have many of my fuck buddies on my social networking sites (such as FaceBook, Twitter, or TinyChat) to avoid any potential damage. There are only two lovers who I talk to outside of bedroom matters. both of them Italian. Yum.
Anyhow, I just logged on to FaceBook for the first time in weeks. Three hours ago, one of my Italian bed buddies hit me up and told me to give him a call as soon as  possible, as I missed his call. When the call didn't go through, I went to his profile page to let him know I tried, and that he should call me. Of course, knowing he is pretty much a manwhore who fucks everything with two legs, and a vagina (regardless of any other factors), I couldn't help but scroll down his page to see what (and who) he's been up to. I usually don't have bed buddies that are located so close to me, as it's awkward to know that every time you walk into that dreaded psychology class that you've had the same dick as all 35 of your female peers. But I do enjoy fucking this kid, so I let that slide. Anywho, while scrolling through his page, I noticed something... he fucks with a lot of FUGLY females. I mean, every now an then he'll get a decent looking girl (myself included) but more times than not... they're not that attractive.
Now those who know me know I'm FAR from cocky. I'm more self conscious than I let on... but I didn't need to be an egotistical bitch to know some of these girls looked ratchet and hoodratish. I mean, I think I'm pretty attractive, even without makeup, and while I could do without a couple pounds, that's an easy fix that I'm working on. But you can't fix an ugly face as easy. It doesn't make sense to me because, while he's not perfect (which I don't claim to be either) he's a good looking guy. And anything he lacks in looks (which isn't much, in my opinion) he makes up for in confidence.. which can be good or bad depending on the day and situation I've learned.
Thinking of all of this, I've come a new conclusion, one that may be considered shallow by most. To me, you're only as good, and only have as much "swag" as the last man/woman in your bed. I can go to the club, hit on a okay-but-needs-some-work looking guy and have him hooked in five minutes flat, mostly because he'll just be amazed that I'm speaking to him. But where's the fun, and prize in that? I'd rather go for the 10 who all the other girls oogle at all because not only will it make me feel better to know that I got the sexiest piece there, but it's a matter of showing off. So, shallow? Yes. But I figure if I'm going in knowing (or at least thinking) that I only plan on using him for sex, than what could be any more shallow?
In other words, set your game up.

Why It's Hard To Go From "Fuck Buddies" Too Relationship

I find it hard to think of someone that I have a long history of just fucking as a romantic love interest. To tell you the truth, with most people I fuck, I do, to some degree, at the beginning, have small hopes that MAYBE this one would be different, and it won't just be sex. After the second time fucking, I let it slip away, and become content with the fact we're just fuck buddies, not even friend, not going to become a relationship. I suppose I didn't get enough male attention growing up, so I look for love in all the wrong places. Not that I'm complaining, I love sex. I'll take sex before all of the drama of a relationship... most of the time...
Anyhow, when I've become content just fucking someone, there's no going back. To me, all I can think is, "I can't think of you as my boyfriend because I know you. You're like me, only you're a MANwhore. I'd never trust you." In a relationship, I'm loyal. Almost too loyal. So I stay out of them unless I'm certain that I want to go through all of the drama and heartache, and that it's worth it.
Anyhow, I always hate when one of my good fuck buddies catches feelings and are open about it. Sure, I catch feelings sometime, but I keep my mouth shut, in fear of messing up good sex. I wish everyone had this kind of unhealthy philosophy. It would make my life so much easier.

Hotel Room Sex

As any of my regular readers know... I love my Italian lovers. So, I did him a favor, in delivering something to him last week. Of course, when I realized I'd be going to a hotel I got excited.. until we got to his room and his friend was snoring in the bed next to me. Sure, we could have fucked in the shower, but where's the fun and adventure in that? So, after smoking, and fending his abnormally large and obnoxious pitbull off of me, I climbed on top of him and started to kiss and bite his neck.. which I know he loves. When I could feel his rock hard cock on my thigh, I slid under the covers and took him into my mouth. Hearing him fighting not to moan out loud in fear of waking his friend, biting his lips, and grunting. Finally i crawled underneath him, letting him wriggle off my pants, tossing them off the bed, spread my legs, and hold them above my head before ramming inside of me so deep he had to kiss me to stifle my moan. We both high, meaning, at least in my opinion, the sex was more intense. His teeth grazed and bit my neck and chest and then came up and kissed me to silence both of our moans. When he let go of my legs, wrapped his arms around me, and and began to fuck me slow and deep I couldn't help but moan, biting into his neck to keep from screaming before I came. I always seem to get load with this one particular Italian. Even after I came, he kept ramming inside of me, pulling my hair, and when he bit into my neck I could help be yelp, coming again. He came, collapsing on top of me, like usual, then went to get a drink while I cleaned up then tried to find my pants. While rushing to look under the bed, in fear that his friend was just faking being asleep to be polite. While using my arm to balance and looking under the bed, his large, but friendly, pitbull wrapped his front legs around my arm, and began humping me... I squeaked for my Italian to hurry up because the large dog immobilized me, and he rushed in to see was I was squeaking for him to come here he almost fell over laughing... and he did fall over when I pushed his high ass over for laughing instead of helping. Finally he got his dog off of me, and we made the bed before watching Zombieland. I had a sandwich I was planning on eating for dinner so we shared that, while I snuggled against him and we watch the movie. I fell asleep for a while, and I'm sure I snored, but this particular bed buddy has seen me do worse so it's okay. When the movie was over, I declined the invitation to sleep over. I don't really like sleeping over at other people's house, perhaps that makes me a whore. I like to fuck, get me something to drink, then I'm out unless we're in a relationship. With this Italian bed buddy it's weird, I have slept over, and I usually don't do the cuddling thing unless I'm dating the person, but I do with him, I think because he's adorable, in a strange sense haha.