I Feel Like I start My Relationships Backwards

Any normal, healthy person would say I do. Sex first, then a relationship. But, for me, it's more practical. My mother taught me that abstinence wasn't healthy because you didn't want to get married and then all of the sudden find your husband is a freak. You wouldn't know what to do! But to me, sex is a big part of my relationship. It's not everything, but I would say it was about 40% of it. It may sound shallow, but I've ended relationships where the sex was beyond repair. You know those kind, where it just doesn't work, and the entire time you're thinking "God, I really need a cigarette.".
Lately, I've been going on a lot of legitimate dates. I haven't dated (like actually dated) in a while, so it's a bit out of my element. It sounds weird, yes, but going to someone's house with the sole intention to fuck is different then going out to dinner, and movie. I somewhat feel like my fuckbuddies know me better then the people I go on dates with. My 13 year old boy humor, and "That's What She Said!" jokes are acceptable to them... I mean, if I've sucked your cock, you better be okay with my corny sex jokes! I even shared my blog with one of my bedbuddies (the Italian) who, being his cocky but lovable self, loved reading about himself in bed. One of my bed buddies asked me out on a date. An actual date. I know, according to society's rightist doctrine of beliefs, I should be thrilled. In all honesty, I'm nervous as fuck! I mean, it's easy to show, get high, have amazing, earth shattering sex, and then lay in bed and talk. But how does that change outside of the bedroom?
I have until this weekend to ponder over this before the date. I may even upload a photo of what I'm wearing, when I decide. God, I feel like a 15 year old girl on her first real date, all over again. Only this time, I hope I won't end up getting sick on the date. But my date was nice about it then, he was 17, held my hair while I puked, then we sat in his car, blasting music, and smoking. He even called me again! I miss those times, when everything was so simple.